I have always had the sense that I was blessed with an extraordinary unique set of parents. I don't look anything like either of them but I do know that I am theirs. I have seen the blurry pics still on slides that my dad took during my delivery. My dad has a famously steady hand but apparently it was shaky the day I was born due to excitement over having a baby girl. I was louder and more vocal than either of my parents and I never grew up with people saying you are just like your mom or just like your dad. I look like my Grandma Cook and my volume of my voice comes from my dad and the rate and quantity of speech comes from my mother.
Now as a mom, I realize I am just like my mother. Sometimes Bill says 'Ok Linda (my mom's name)' when I make a crazy statement like "don't put the little plastic $1 fan too close to TBL's face for you may snip off his nose" etc. My mom is indeed a bit overcautious with us but after carrying and delivering TBL I know my mom is just being overprotective of her investments.
She was a wreck when we decided to take TBL to Mexico. Calling all the time with something else to be worried about and I assured her we had it under control. My brothers and I so highly regard our parent's influence and advice that sometimes the line is a bit blurry. My brother, David, said to me while I was talking to him while in the Houston airport that "I can't believe Mom is letting you take Lucas to Mexico". A funny comment really because Lucas is actually my child but a sweet comment too because the three of us, Cook kids, hold our parents in such high esteem that we don't really do anything they don't 'give permission' for even in our late 30s.
While growing up I would recommend movies to my mom like 'My Girl' and 'Steal Magnolias' and my mom refused to watch them. After a terrible recovery after watching 'Terms of Endearment' she hasn't watched any movies or read any books about a child dying before a parent or a parent dying and leaving her children. I used to think she was crazy. She missed out so many good movies and books. But now I know she is not crazy. She is just a mother. The thought of anything happening to me before I get to see Lucas grow up is horrifying. The thought of anything happening to Lucas is paralyzing. I almost stop breathing thinking of my child hurt. I was picking out library books for our trip and while reading the book jackets, this is what happened.
Book #1 "While grieving the loss of her child..." -nope not that one
Book #2 "Dealing with her mother's untimely death..." -nope not that one
Book #3 "Surviving the kidnapping of her 4 year old..."- seriously are these supposed to be entertaining?
I am going to be reading comic books at this rate. I did finally find some 'non offensive' books to check out and then on the walk home picked up my phone and called my mom to tell her I finally understand.
I may not look like my mom, but I am just like her. Call me Linda all you want. Think I am crazy for steering away from 'entertainment' which puts voice to my greatest fears. There is no greater compliment.
3 comments:
I couldn't even watch the NEWS in Sophia's first year of life...or George's for that matter.
Not even the LOCAL NEWS. Too horrific. Too sad. Too many people's children and too many children's parents involved in EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE.
When you stock your pantry with wheat thins and pink grapefruit juice, then I will know that you will be your mom.
The worst it ever hit me was when I tried to read an article about the 30 or so parents who accidentally leave their sleeping babies in the back seat each year. Horrible, horrible stories about babies dying in the heat. Poor parents. Poor babies. Always, always, always, always check your car to make sure there isn't a baby in there when you lock up.
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