Unexpected Blessing

ok i have an awkward relationship with mother's day as a step mom. the first year after i become a step mom, bill said to me expressing just how puzzled we both felt about it, "i didn't get you anything for mother's day because you are really not a mom". slightly hurtful, but blazingly true nonetheless. i am not a mom. the next year i got a card Nile made in school with the explanation, "i was the only kid who got to make two which means i got to use the puffy paint longer than anyone else. i love puffy paint". fair enough, not the sentiment i was going for but hey if having me around means more puffy paint time, then bring it on. i always feel weird at church when they honor moms and usually sneak out to the bathroom so i can 'casually' miss it.

a few sundays ago I had a great prayer time with a friend about how i was feeling being a step mom. resentful. a failure. she prayed for me, encouraged me and blessed me. i have felt more free in my role (whatever that truly is) in the last few weeks. this weekend i was in NYC visiting my brother's family and my folks. i took an earlier flight home, called Bill to surprise him that i was only 20 minutes away on the highway. he didn't sound overly excited for my early arrival and said, "use the front door." "why?" i asked. "because i said so" he responded. so dutifully i drove in the driveway and came in the front door. this is what i saw.... an unexpected blessing.

that pink sign says 'Thank you'

that is Nile's handwriting. "it was nile's idea" bill shouts from the living room as I walk in to this scene. nile had decorated the house to celebrate mother's day early as they will be with their mom next week. "i made you card", Nile said, "it is on the table". i almost started to cry. i was speechless.

here are the cards they made. Gabby was just finishing hers as i walked in; she used a shell we got from the beach in florida to make a butterfly on my card.

here is the insides of Nile's along with a $10 gift card to Starbucks.


Gabby's inside says 'thanks for all you do for us!'

Nile had also set the table, I got to have the "You are special today" red plate and Bill made dinner. it was certaintly a homecoming to remember. i was sad leaving my folks today, we had another crying scene at the security line like we always do, i have that fleeting thought that i wish i was closer to home but then i walked into the door of my house and realized i was home. and i love my family.

p.s. after we took the kids home, i asked Bill about how much prompting was behind it all. he said on Friday when he picked them up, he said this "i am only going to say this once and you don't have to feel any pressure, but it would be nice if you made Katie a card for mother's day but you can decide if you want to" he reports he didn't remind them again or say anything else about it.