An intoxicating substance

Well Lucas has been crabby for the past few days; eating a lot, unable to be consoled, up at night- growth spurt? gas? missing Daddy? just because? no clue? those are some of our thoughts on the matter but really no one knows but Lucas and he's not talking. my friend, Amber, and her little one were up yesterday for a visit and told us about the swing they bought Brynn which has been a lifesaver. we would have gotten it last night if Target was open 24 hours we were that desperate (you know your kid is fussy when Grandma thinks he's fussy). anyway off to Target we went today, got the swing, assembled it, ran out for batteries and little Mr. Fussy Pants has been dozing ever since. there must be a mood altering intoxicating substance in the fabric. grandma and i are really enjoying this afternoon with my little sleeping bug.

Weeping for joy

This morning at 4:11 am (or so I'm told that time) our friends,Derek and Sam, had their baby girl, Maya. They had a son, Gabriel, who was born 12/07 and passed away a few weeks later. They have been, obviously, on the incredibly hard journey that no one wants to be on. Sam and I got to be pregnant together with our new little ones; share our anxieties and joys and tears as Lucas came and they were waiting for their daughter's arrival. I was told today at church that Maya arrived safely and was sleeping peacefully on her mother's chest. I wept with joy. I can't imagine all the emotions they are going through at this time or will for the rest of their lives as they remember Gabe and get to hold Maya's hand as she grows. I still don't understand where God was in their loss or why it happened to them. I never will; it makes me so angry. But I know that God is in charge and faithful and I prayed and everyone was praying that Maya would arrive safely and healthy. Sam apparently pushed for only 12 minutes; didn't even make me grumpy to hear that after I pushed unsuccessfully for almost 4 hours because if anyone deserved a break and a good speedy delivery, it was Sam. I will never forget where I was when we got the news Gabe died and we wept as a mission team on the beach in Mazatlan longing to be home with our community. I will never forget where I was when I got the news sweet Maya arrived safely and I wept for joy sitting in the lobby of church holding my fussy son. Thank you Jesus for being on our journey with us.

And she's back...

Today I put on a pair of pre pregnancy pants on and they FIT! ok so they are not my skinny jeans but they belong to me and do not have an elastic waistband. I am so super excited.

A lazy Saturday

Lucas had some tummy time this morning. He scooted himself a little bit and held his head up for a few seconds. Butt up with the scooting
Bill feeding Lucas his first bottle

A close up. Lucas sucked down the bottle and then I fed him more. So much for worry about nipple confusion.

Nile holding Lucas helping us out. He is a very good big brother.

With matching socks

Our friend, Fat Jack, gave us some of his clothes. This was one of his mom's favorite outfits and is a favorite of mine as well. It is getting hot here so I am trying to figure out how to dress him appropriately. He may spend the summer in just onesies... that's ok, right? Another shot of the super cute ant outfit
And we got matching socks from my cousin, Little Willy, who has a similar ant outfit which Lucas can wear when he is older. Oh yeah we have a matching hat as well which we didn't pull out today.
Foreshadowing to the actual smile. I have been trying to get a smile-in-my-sleep picture for days now and finally got one!

New Stroller

The new stroller came today and I put it together. I love it. I love the fact it is orange. It has four different seat settings.. forward facing sitting up. Forward facing laying down
Rear facing laying down

Rear facing sitting up

And our car seat can sit on top for a quick trip into the store or mall.

I can't wait to take it for a stroll tomorrow afternoon with Auntie Fran!

Better than dirt shots

The Baby Lucas is better than shots of dirt in the backyard. He found this thumb the other day- is it better/worse than a pacifier? All I know is that it is super cute.Looking like a sweet little bug in his swaddling blanket which is where he got his nickname. Totally passed out for a nap

He smiled while awake yesterday - both Bill and I saw it. It may still be a reflex and not in response to us but we are putting the sticker on his baby calendar regardless.

Update on the addition

So last week they started our addition. We are adding on a four season porch and a finished basement below which will serve as a rec room for the kids to give them some space with friends away from baby world. Also it will be where all the Star Wars stuff does on display. They first started by digging the huge hole. Our yard is so trashed.

another pile of dirt in the yard

yesterday they started to pour/lay the foundation

Today they are putting up the basement walls. They say it will take about 3 months total to get it all done. I'll keep posting pictures of the progress. So far Lucas sleeps through all the noise. Our neighbors are also putting on an addition so the construction noise has been doubled... bad for mommy naps but I'm coping.

A new definition of a 'successful' day

Today was my first full day at home alone with the Baby Lucas. I am altering my definition of successful to encompass my new reality and I think I had a successful day for sure. Bill had a big day at work so I was up a lot with Lucas last night who did not sleep well so we did sleep in a bit and he woke up at 8:30am. He ate, sat in the vibrating chair in the bathroom as I showered (washed and conditioned my hair but didn't have time to shave my legs-- can't expect it all in one day). I ate some breakfast, he got topped off and then off to Weight Watchers we went. It was my first day lifting him in the car seat and it went fine- no pain. Did I mention it was raining out when we left? I think it is an accomplishment for even getting out of the door on such a rainy gloomy day. He was awake and calm for the most part during the meeting and then after a quick stop back at home for some lunch and a new diaper we were off again. We went to our friend's Kim house who made us lunch, listened to me and gave me good advice. Lucas took a little nap there and was a peach. I had to go to Target to get a few things but turned out Kim had all the things I needed so I just shopped at her house instead of Target. Lunch was yummy. I was feeling much better probably because I had a diet coke and decided to stop off at work to fill out my time card and have some of the non-germy ER staff meet Lucas. That was successful too. He slept the entire time and woke up when we got home. He had an afternoon snack and I pumped for the first time and successfully froze my first 2 oz. Lucas got a bit fussy so I put him in my mei tai carrier, took a walk up and down the block until he passed out and then came back in the house of blog. Daddy just got home and we have lots of stories to share from our day together. Gives me a boost of confidence that I can do this alone. I did so much more than I thought I could today and it feels great to get one day under my belt.

say goodbye to the backyard

We woke up with our contractor in our backyard and a digger ready to make a mess of our backyard. I sent Bill down quickly to take some before pictures. We are putting in a 4 season porch with a finished basement/rec room below it. It is going to take about 3 mo. Unclear if having a new born and doing a major house addition is smart. But all I really need to do is write the checks.

view from the back door

I'll make sure to post addition pictures as well as pictures of the little bug.

Three firsts

Lucas and I had our first Mother's Day. He wore this super cute #1 striped outfit to church and everyone fell in love with him. Lucas met Uncle Tom for the first time and the two got along great.

Lucas had his first official bath at home once his belly button plug fell off. He seemed to like it.

super cute feet

drying off- Help Dad I'm getting cold.

A week of first for our little one.

My sweet bug

Well grandma has left. It is unclear if Lucas has noticed the most experience infant care provider has flown the coop. We took a long walk today; half with daddy and half by ourselves-successful; I even got to stop at Dairy Queen for a treat. He woke up right when we got to our front door. Here are some more pictures for those who can't get enough of my sweet bug.
Here he is on our walk today

Well he's asleep so I am going to take a nap on the couch until the peace and quiet is no more.

The birth story with multiple voices

Starring Katie as the mom, Bill as the dad, Dr Kelly, some other random hospital staff and The Baby Lucas as himself


4/28 6am

Katie arrives at the hospital for a scheduled induction; uncomfortable hospital gown put on, IV started, antibiotics hung

TBL: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing

7:00 am

Doctor comes in to check Katie's cervix

K: ouch that really hurts

D: you're about 3 cm which is good

TBL: who's pressing on my head? i'm sleeping. go away.

7:20 am

Pitocin started

K: ooo i felt that contraction

TBL: who's squeezing my house? stop (as he kicks his house to straighten out)

midmorning

K: these contractions are getting stronger (as she breathes through another one)

B: you're doing a great job

TBL: STOP squeezing my house, ugh (as he kicks again)

10:45 am

B: I'm going to grab a bite to eat. I'll be right back

K: sounds good

10:50 am

Katie's water breaks with a loud pop and an unmistakable gush

Nurse: oh your water broke, it has a little meconium staining but that is to be expected

K: (starts to cry a little out of worry for TBL)

TBL: hey where'd my swimming pool go? and this squeezing won't stop. this is a terrible horrible no good very bad day for me

11:00 am

Katie decides to get her epidural, her husband is still out eating and is paged to come back as
the anesthesiologist comes in and starts the procedure

K: ouch that lidocaine really does burn. i guess i won't be so non chalant about it anymore when i'm sticking my patients with it in the ER. ouch that's a lot of pressure to get that needle in, guess i won't be so irritated anymore when patients 'can't handle it' when they get a lumbar puncture

anesthesiologist chuckles but continues his work. Bill arrives back in time to hold Katie's hand and after a second attempt the spinal/epidural is in and Katie's lower half starts to go numb

all afternoon
Katie is totally numb, dozing on and off
Contractions continue

TBL: this has got to stop, why is my head being moved down? i like where i was. ugh!
K: I can't believe people do this without any pain meds.

the doctor comes back to check and cervix is thinning out nicely, getting ready and is 4 cm.
Katie gets a headache and is told she can have a diet coke - yippee!

5:30pm

Katie gets checked again and is at 6 cm, contractions are very regular now, Katie can't feel anything, TBL's heart rate is doing great. Doctor is unsure if TBL is face up or face down. Another doctor comes to check. no one really knows.

K: I can't believe people do this without any pain meds.
TBL: why is the door of my house getting bigger? and the squeezing continues and my swimming pool continues to leak. i'm grumpy.

6:00 pm

Bill goes to the bathroom and by accident pulls the emergency help cord and folks come rushing in. it is quite hilarious and he is quite embarrassed

8:00 pm

Katie's body starts to take over, shaking with chills, some more pain. Her epidural is bolused. Doctor comes to check and cervix is 10 cm. We're ready to push

TBL: now my door is wide open. what is happening to me? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:15-10:15 pm

despite not being able to feel anything, Katie pushes and pushes and pushes hard with each contraction. the doctor can feel TBL getting more engaged in the pelvis but still unsure if he is face up or face down. somewhere in this Katie starts to vomit and pukes like 8 times

K: I want my mom.
B: you're doing fine, see you just threw up a bunch and survived without your mom. you're doing great.

Katie strangely feels better after puking

TBL: i'm face up and it is my last defense to be able to stay in my house. stop the squeezing and the pushing. what have i ever done to you?
K: I can't believe people do this without any pain meds.

10:15 pm

TBL is not making much progress. Doctor Kelly decides baby is probably face up and decides to put Katie in a 'texas roll' to see if TBL will turn. her plan is to not push for about 45 minutes, put Katie in a roll position and to then reassess at 11 pm.

10:16 pm
quite hilarious to have two nurses and Bill try to move Katie's totally dead feeling lower half into a weird half rolled position

TBL: at least the pushing has stopped. i'm taking a nap.

11:00 pm

Katie is rolled back again, resumes pushing, can feel more with each contraction, hits her PCA pump to get some more anesthesia

K: I can't believe people do this without any pain meds.

Pushing continues. Doctor Kelly is delivering another baby so Katie continues to push and push and push until about 12:15 when she has complete mental breakdown.

K: He's not going to come out. Kelly is going to come back and tell me nothing has changed. I can't push anymore. I'm sorry I'm crying and being a baby.

Bill and the nurses in unison: you're not being a baby. you have pushed for over 3 hours

K: I'm just so tired and what if there is something wrong with him and he's been in meconium for over 12 hours. (as she starts to sob uncontrollably). I didn't want to be in labor for 18 hours just to have a c section. this is everything i didn't want. i can't do it anymore. i need to have him out. please. please. please.

TBL: enough already. i'm not coming out. i haven't turned my head and i'm not going to. i'm staying in my house.

Doctor Kelly comes in around 12:30 am on 4/29.

DK: ok you're right. he hasn't moved much. but it hasn't been for lack of trying, you are doing so good. if anyone could push this kid out, it is you but i think you need a little help. here's what we'll do. let's go to the OR, try with forceps and if i can't move his head any farther down, we'll do a c section.

K: I'm going to need more pain meds for that, I am not totally numb still. You know, Kelly, this is exactly what we talked about me not wanting to happen

DK: I know, I know. But you did great. we'll roll you over and do a spinal before the c section if we need to. there is no need for it to be emergent. baby is doing great.

TBL: i'm not doing great. what does she know?

Then a flurry of activity starts to get Katie, Bill and TBL to the OR

Still crying they arrive in the OR. Katie recognizes one of the anesthesiology residents and trys to smile and wave but it is a lame attempt to look any less pathetic than she does. There are like 30 people in the OR including an entire peds team to tend to TBL when he arrives to make sure his lungs are fine. It is really cold in the ER and Katie's teeth are chattering and she's sobbing. Bill looks super cute in his scrubs and hat which is the only redeeming thing of the moment. Katie gets moved to the OR table which is an ordeal and started to be hooked up to lots of machines. Katie gets a bolus of pain med and she starts to feel more numb. Doctor Kelly gets the forceps in place and Katie gets ready to push.

K: don't hurt his head

DK: i won't. just push with everything you have got left. come on, come on. that's it. ok rest, let's push one more time. push push push. ok Katie I can't get him to come down. we'll have to do a c section.

B: what about the spinal? is she numb enough?

K: please don't put me to sleep, I want to see my baby.

DK: come on someone prep the abdomen. we don't have time for a spinal, baby's heart rate is too low. we need to get him out now. (so much for not having an emergent c section- the flurry of activity intensifies)

K: (crying more and chattering) bill, you go with the baby when he comes to make sure he is fine. please make sure the baby is fine.

B: he's going to be fine, just relax.

Anesthesiologist: pushing more meds now

1:06 am

DK: lots of pressure

K: have you started yet?

TBL: what? who's cutting through my ceiling? seriously, i was all nice and warm in here. ok careful with the pulling, my head was stuck in there, careful. it is so cold. who turned on that light? turn off the light? put me back in my house. please just put me back in the warm house. ok this sucks. wwwwaaaaaaa.

1:09 am

DK: he's out, Dad you want to see him?

B: (stands up to see and then whispers to Katie) oh poor guy looks pissed off. i'm going to check him out.

TBL: wwwwwwaaaa (is handed over to the peds team for evaluation and his lungs are deep suctioned) ugh, can't breath or cry. stop sticking stuff down my throat.

B: (back at Katie's side) he's doing great. no meconium with deep suction, can you hear him crying? he's really cute.

K: is he as cute as zuzu? (our friend's super adorable from day one baby from hence all babies will be compared)

B: no but he's cute

DK: Katie you never would have pushed him out. he was face up and stuck in there good. you did so well.

K: we should have induced him last week like i wanted too.

DK: (laughing) you have wanted him induced for weeks. hey dad want to see her ovaries? they look great. great enough for another kid

B: (laughs and peeks over the curtain) i forgot you took the whole uterus out to repair it. (apparently Katie's entire uterus with ovaries and tubes have been placed on her belly for repair and then are stuffed back in)

K: that's gross

the repair continues and the peds doc brings TBL over to me who is all clean and swaddled just so Katie can get a peek.

K: I love you baby (she says through tears for joy and relief as they wisk him away again)

B: I'm going to the NICU with TBL.

K: Take some pictures

the repair continues

B: (back from the NICU) he's going great. the peds team doesn't think they even need to keep him for two hours. they think he'll meet us in the recovery room.

K: that's great. i think i feel sick (as she starts to throw up again with head turned to the side while laying flat on the OR table with her uterus being shoved back in her belly)

the repair finally done, Katie is wheeled to the recovery room, eats a few ice chips, throws up a few more times (that's three rounds of vomiting without Katie's mom for anyone who is counting) and then TBL is brought in to meet his mom for the first time. groggy smiley pictures are taken. the cuddling has begun.

K: (whispering to TBL) it's just the beginning, we are going to have a great life
TBL: (as he's falling asleep in his mother's arms) i couldn't agree more

and they all lived happily ever after.

Grandparent's first viewing

My folks arrived today and as expected my mom is totally in love with Lucas. Here is a pic shot right after she arrived and laid eyes on the little wonder for the first time. She's hooked and may never leave. My dad thinks he's swell too but really just wants to know what handyman project we need done to make our lives easier. He and Nile have been to the Ace Hardware once already.
My mom took this shot of him sleeping while I was taking a nap. Just look at that little face.