What my life has become

This is what my life has become. Today Lucas and I are playing on the floor in the play room. Stacking cups, shaking our rattle balls etc. Just a fine afternoon. Then I start to smell a little stink. Someone has poop. Here's a hint; it wasn't me. I decide rather than stand up lugging my 20lb sack-of-potato child and creating havoc on my knees while transporting him to the designated diaper change area that I would just change his diaper laying on the playmat. You see I've done this before; the wipes and diapers are close and handy. So I begin the process. Pants off, onesie unsnapped and then I am faced with a large amount of poop that has gotten everywhere. From now on in this story, I will be calling the poop crap because it was really crappy. Lucas has crap now up his back and on his onesie. I think I am holding his legs up high enough to avoid his back crap from getting anywhere else but turns out I'm not and his back crap got on the playmat -- the letters C and K to be exact (we have that form alphabet puzzle mat on the floor to protect the carpet from such days). Ok so now I am using one hand to hold up his legs and the other hand to wipe his butt and the playmat to get all the crap off. He starts to wiggle. He decides to roll over. Not a bad idea I thought because now I have better access to wiping the crap off his back and butt. So half naked but wiped Lucas is on this tummy playing with some toys while I finished wiping up the playmat crap and wrap up the diaper. I go to turn him to his back to get his new diaper on and realize that he has taken it upon himself and his new found half naked freedom to pee while he was on his tummy. So now on the letters L and H, I have a steamy puddle of pee. UGH! So I grab a wipe which doesn't really help but find a stray burp cloth that I use to mop up the pee. I finally get Lucas into his diaper and decide he is just going to have to stay naked until bedtime because I have too much to disinfect to possibly go upstairs to get more clothes.

First I call Bill because I think my story is hilarious. He has germ issues-- I keep forgetting-- so he doesn't think it is too funny. I pull up the letters L (U to be safe) and C from the top row that spells LUCAS and the H (W to be safe) and K from the second row that spells HAWK without the A because I used the 'a' in the top row to spell Lucas. I have all six letters in the kitchen when I notice the wet spot on the carpet. Dang, the pee got loose. Crap, Bill is going to flip. I quickly call Kim, she says hot water and soap for carpet pee... she also says welcome to motherhood; you're arrived. Then I soak the foam letters in the sink. I call my friend who is thinking about trying to get pregnant just to warn her about days like this. Then I call my friend Ali who isn't home yet but get her husband who is the stay at home parent; I tell him and he finds it as hilarious as I did all those minutes ago. Meanwhile diaper and shoes only Lucas continues to play like nothing has really happened.

These pictures were taken before the playmat was disassembled for cleaning. He looks completely unfazed and quite shaped like a tatertot, doesn't he?

Finally I throw a sweatshirt on him and put him in his highchair for dinner. I call my friend Sarah who has four kids and I know will find my story hilarious. She does and recommends pet-zyme to get the pee stink out of the carpet. She said she cleaned up a puddle of pee herself today; she said when they are potty training they come to you wet and you get to go hunting for the pee puddle--yippee! Oh and then she says pet-zyme works really well on vomit; 'just wait' she says with a chuckle.
aaaahhhh what my life has become!