The birth story with multiple voices

Starring Katie as the mom, Bill as the dad, Dr Kelly, some other random hospital staff and The Baby Lucas as himself


4/28 6am

Katie arrives at the hospital for a scheduled induction; uncomfortable hospital gown put on, IV started, antibiotics hung

TBL: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing

7:00 am

Doctor comes in to check Katie's cervix

K: ouch that really hurts

D: you're about 3 cm which is good

TBL: who's pressing on my head? i'm sleeping. go away.

7:20 am

Pitocin started

K: ooo i felt that contraction

TBL: who's squeezing my house? stop (as he kicks his house to straighten out)

midmorning

K: these contractions are getting stronger (as she breathes through another one)

B: you're doing a great job

TBL: STOP squeezing my house, ugh (as he kicks again)

10:45 am

B: I'm going to grab a bite to eat. I'll be right back

K: sounds good

10:50 am

Katie's water breaks with a loud pop and an unmistakable gush

Nurse: oh your water broke, it has a little meconium staining but that is to be expected

K: (starts to cry a little out of worry for TBL)

TBL: hey where'd my swimming pool go? and this squeezing won't stop. this is a terrible horrible no good very bad day for me

11:00 am

Katie decides to get her epidural, her husband is still out eating and is paged to come back as
the anesthesiologist comes in and starts the procedure

K: ouch that lidocaine really does burn. i guess i won't be so non chalant about it anymore when i'm sticking my patients with it in the ER. ouch that's a lot of pressure to get that needle in, guess i won't be so irritated anymore when patients 'can't handle it' when they get a lumbar puncture

anesthesiologist chuckles but continues his work. Bill arrives back in time to hold Katie's hand and after a second attempt the spinal/epidural is in and Katie's lower half starts to go numb

all afternoon
Katie is totally numb, dozing on and off
Contractions continue

TBL: this has got to stop, why is my head being moved down? i like where i was. ugh!
K: I can't believe people do this without any pain meds.

the doctor comes back to check and cervix is thinning out nicely, getting ready and is 4 cm.
Katie gets a headache and is told she can have a diet coke - yippee!

5:30pm

Katie gets checked again and is at 6 cm, contractions are very regular now, Katie can't feel anything, TBL's heart rate is doing great. Doctor is unsure if TBL is face up or face down. Another doctor comes to check. no one really knows.

K: I can't believe people do this without any pain meds.
TBL: why is the door of my house getting bigger? and the squeezing continues and my swimming pool continues to leak. i'm grumpy.

6:00 pm

Bill goes to the bathroom and by accident pulls the emergency help cord and folks come rushing in. it is quite hilarious and he is quite embarrassed

8:00 pm

Katie's body starts to take over, shaking with chills, some more pain. Her epidural is bolused. Doctor comes to check and cervix is 10 cm. We're ready to push

TBL: now my door is wide open. what is happening to me? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:15-10:15 pm

despite not being able to feel anything, Katie pushes and pushes and pushes hard with each contraction. the doctor can feel TBL getting more engaged in the pelvis but still unsure if he is face up or face down. somewhere in this Katie starts to vomit and pukes like 8 times

K: I want my mom.
B: you're doing fine, see you just threw up a bunch and survived without your mom. you're doing great.

Katie strangely feels better after puking

TBL: i'm face up and it is my last defense to be able to stay in my house. stop the squeezing and the pushing. what have i ever done to you?
K: I can't believe people do this without any pain meds.

10:15 pm

TBL is not making much progress. Doctor Kelly decides baby is probably face up and decides to put Katie in a 'texas roll' to see if TBL will turn. her plan is to not push for about 45 minutes, put Katie in a roll position and to then reassess at 11 pm.

10:16 pm
quite hilarious to have two nurses and Bill try to move Katie's totally dead feeling lower half into a weird half rolled position

TBL: at least the pushing has stopped. i'm taking a nap.

11:00 pm

Katie is rolled back again, resumes pushing, can feel more with each contraction, hits her PCA pump to get some more anesthesia

K: I can't believe people do this without any pain meds.

Pushing continues. Doctor Kelly is delivering another baby so Katie continues to push and push and push until about 12:15 when she has complete mental breakdown.

K: He's not going to come out. Kelly is going to come back and tell me nothing has changed. I can't push anymore. I'm sorry I'm crying and being a baby.

Bill and the nurses in unison: you're not being a baby. you have pushed for over 3 hours

K: I'm just so tired and what if there is something wrong with him and he's been in meconium for over 12 hours. (as she starts to sob uncontrollably). I didn't want to be in labor for 18 hours just to have a c section. this is everything i didn't want. i can't do it anymore. i need to have him out. please. please. please.

TBL: enough already. i'm not coming out. i haven't turned my head and i'm not going to. i'm staying in my house.

Doctor Kelly comes in around 12:30 am on 4/29.

DK: ok you're right. he hasn't moved much. but it hasn't been for lack of trying, you are doing so good. if anyone could push this kid out, it is you but i think you need a little help. here's what we'll do. let's go to the OR, try with forceps and if i can't move his head any farther down, we'll do a c section.

K: I'm going to need more pain meds for that, I am not totally numb still. You know, Kelly, this is exactly what we talked about me not wanting to happen

DK: I know, I know. But you did great. we'll roll you over and do a spinal before the c section if we need to. there is no need for it to be emergent. baby is doing great.

TBL: i'm not doing great. what does she know?

Then a flurry of activity starts to get Katie, Bill and TBL to the OR

Still crying they arrive in the OR. Katie recognizes one of the anesthesiology residents and trys to smile and wave but it is a lame attempt to look any less pathetic than she does. There are like 30 people in the OR including an entire peds team to tend to TBL when he arrives to make sure his lungs are fine. It is really cold in the ER and Katie's teeth are chattering and she's sobbing. Bill looks super cute in his scrubs and hat which is the only redeeming thing of the moment. Katie gets moved to the OR table which is an ordeal and started to be hooked up to lots of machines. Katie gets a bolus of pain med and she starts to feel more numb. Doctor Kelly gets the forceps in place and Katie gets ready to push.

K: don't hurt his head

DK: i won't. just push with everything you have got left. come on, come on. that's it. ok rest, let's push one more time. push push push. ok Katie I can't get him to come down. we'll have to do a c section.

B: what about the spinal? is she numb enough?

K: please don't put me to sleep, I want to see my baby.

DK: come on someone prep the abdomen. we don't have time for a spinal, baby's heart rate is too low. we need to get him out now. (so much for not having an emergent c section- the flurry of activity intensifies)

K: (crying more and chattering) bill, you go with the baby when he comes to make sure he is fine. please make sure the baby is fine.

B: he's going to be fine, just relax.

Anesthesiologist: pushing more meds now

1:06 am

DK: lots of pressure

K: have you started yet?

TBL: what? who's cutting through my ceiling? seriously, i was all nice and warm in here. ok careful with the pulling, my head was stuck in there, careful. it is so cold. who turned on that light? turn off the light? put me back in my house. please just put me back in the warm house. ok this sucks. wwwwaaaaaaa.

1:09 am

DK: he's out, Dad you want to see him?

B: (stands up to see and then whispers to Katie) oh poor guy looks pissed off. i'm going to check him out.

TBL: wwwwwwaaaa (is handed over to the peds team for evaluation and his lungs are deep suctioned) ugh, can't breath or cry. stop sticking stuff down my throat.

B: (back at Katie's side) he's doing great. no meconium with deep suction, can you hear him crying? he's really cute.

K: is he as cute as zuzu? (our friend's super adorable from day one baby from hence all babies will be compared)

B: no but he's cute

DK: Katie you never would have pushed him out. he was face up and stuck in there good. you did so well.

K: we should have induced him last week like i wanted too.

DK: (laughing) you have wanted him induced for weeks. hey dad want to see her ovaries? they look great. great enough for another kid

B: (laughs and peeks over the curtain) i forgot you took the whole uterus out to repair it. (apparently Katie's entire uterus with ovaries and tubes have been placed on her belly for repair and then are stuffed back in)

K: that's gross

the repair continues and the peds doc brings TBL over to me who is all clean and swaddled just so Katie can get a peek.

K: I love you baby (she says through tears for joy and relief as they wisk him away again)

B: I'm going to the NICU with TBL.

K: Take some pictures

the repair continues

B: (back from the NICU) he's going great. the peds team doesn't think they even need to keep him for two hours. they think he'll meet us in the recovery room.

K: that's great. i think i feel sick (as she starts to throw up again with head turned to the side while laying flat on the OR table with her uterus being shoved back in her belly)

the repair finally done, Katie is wheeled to the recovery room, eats a few ice chips, throws up a few more times (that's three rounds of vomiting without Katie's mom for anyone who is counting) and then TBL is brought in to meet his mom for the first time. groggy smiley pictures are taken. the cuddling has begun.

K: (whispering to TBL) it's just the beginning, we are going to have a great life
TBL: (as he's falling asleep in his mother's arms) i couldn't agree more

and they all lived happily ever after.